What I do not like most is when Skills In a Relationship someone says that getting to know each other and building relationships is completely natural and that our grandparents did not have to learn it.

I Always Want to Say Three Things Then:

First of all, maybe they didn’t have to, but it wouldn’t hurt them, because although there were great relationships, next to them there was a whole lot of difficult and complicated ones.

Second, they didn’t need many other things either. They did not fly, they did not have to finish their studies, and even without literacy, they would have managed. However, YourLatinMates.com this does not mean that we should still ride horses and only count using our fingers and toes.

Third and most importantly, times have changed, and while there are areas that have been left untouched, this is not true of relationships. Statistically, we have more partners in our lives than previous generations, we choose them from a larger group of people, we expect more from them and we part more willingly.

This in turn means that for a successful relationship you have to make an effort , but not wearing attractive underwear and gifts. This is done by mastering seven important skills, without which every relationship is full of emotional struggle and eventually falls apart spectacularly.

The most important skills in a relationship are:

1. Communication

Apparently couples have to argue. When they don’t, they bury the resentment that eventually arises like Zombies in the graveyard in a B-movie.

It is true, but it is also true that in weak relationships people argue much more often, more intensively, and about trivialities blown up to the size of a fair fire. Do you know what is done in good pairs? He talks. You talk about your feelings and your needs. He’s sorry. He knows how to show appreciation to the other person as he or she likes it.

When you can talk, you solve problems. When you can’t do it, the problem is often what you said but didn’t mean it.

2. Emotional self-control

Emotions are great. If you feel positive, you feel alive. It is worse if ordinary little things lead to the fact that you turn into Hulk and boil over with disproportionate anger. At first glance, it is difficult to judge who can control themselves and who can not, but in the end such behavior is knocking out like an overfilled septic tank and makes the same impression. First of all, because there is no person who dreams of meeting someone who will make a scandal for milk placed on the wrong shelf.

By the way, it is also a trait that affects all spheres of life, including work and family. At work, because the lack of self-control goes hand in hand with problems with perseverance and overcoming challenges. And on the family, because it turns you into a parent who communicates with YourLatinMates children by shouting and threats, and it’s a great recipe for dislocating a child’s psyche.

3. Taking care of yourself

When you evaluate someone’s photos, you intuitively think that people who are in photos with friends, play sports, or have a passion are more attractive. One of the reasons is that we sense that for such a person the relationship will be what it should be – a complement to a fun life, not its only content.

Without it, the risk increases that you will bond with someone who gives so much that they sweeten your relationship so much that you feel like vomiting. Possibly with one who will expect you to make her happy like the prince of Cinderella. The problem is, it’s not an expectation that makes sense. You have the right to require the other person not to take your happiness away. She wasn’t undermining her self-confidence. It did not limit. She did not stick various painful pins that make you feel less worthy. However, you cannot expect someone to give you happiness, because it is no one’s duty. It is your mission and only yours.

4. Empathy – Skills In a Relationship

When I was a teenager, all people were clearly defined to me. I saw them in black and white. Today I see their shades. What does this have to do with empathy? More or less, when you are with someone, you cannot make assumptions about what that person is, what they want and how they feel. You have to want to understand this WITHOUT making any assumptions about it.

Never fully know what the other person’s past. Nurture, and demons have in their head. You also don’t know how she learned to show affection and what matters most to her. The patterns of behavior that you have established can be very different and only occasionally intersect.

That is why it is so important to be able to see the situation through the eyes of the other person and to treat them the way they want, not the way you want them to. For this reason, it is also one of the most important skills in general .

5. Commitment

Commitment is not saying, “I choose you, but I’ll keep looking.” Involvement is not a negotiation in the cycle: “I choose you, but only once a week and only for sex.” Nor is it saying, “I choose you, but I don’t write for problems.”

Means saying, “I choose you.” It is an unconditional and permanent choice of another person, the conviction that this relationship is something really valuable and the decision that the process of looking for a partner has been completed.

Commitment understood in this way is not optional. This is the absolute foundation of a relationship.

Despite the temptation to consider commitment as a declaration, it’s a skill because not everyone can (or wants) to focus on the other person, not to look around, solve problems in a relationship, and be happy with what they already have.

6. Setting boundaries – Skills In a Relationship

Let me tell you something terrible – only by showing who you are can you create a successful relationship.

I know, this is how you risk getting hurt, but it’s also the only thing with which you can find a person for whom you are ok. The one who takes you with all the benefits of inventory.

This involves saying what’s okay for you and what’s not, what you accept and what is unacceptable for you, and boldly define how you see your life. Finally, it is also worth knowing how to defend these boundaries so that they are not empty words.

Some people find this approach selfish. Others also believe it has a deterrent effect and will never find anyone by setting limits .

Both of these approaches fail.

First of all, it’s an attitude that is good for you and the other person, because we all want to have people in our team (and the relationship is also a team) who can fight for themselves and their loved ones.

Second, it doesn’t scare others away. On the contrary, you are ATTRACTING people whose personality and values ​​align with yours.

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7. Resourcefulness – Skills In a Relationship

Sometimes you meet couples where one person is successful, charismatic and influential, and in return the other looks at her with eyes sparkling with admiration. This is a daddy and daughter model where one person is the donor and the other is the recipient. There are cases when it works, but only for a short time, because dragging even the sweetest ballast with you ends up getting boring.

In long-term relationships, people have to rely on each other. If only because they do not choose diseases, and someone has to take care of the family. It’s a bit like a boat – it also needs two oars to move forward.

I strongly believe that in order to be with someone, you must also be a person who is able to survive on your own.